And who am I not to be of assistance? Yes, it is time to review the best of the 600-or-so searches that brought some very interesting folks my way in the month of September.
Outside of the usual “bump by the nose piercing” inquiries, various triathlon and marathon stomach ache issues, the there-is-no-way-I’m-publishing-THAT-for-public-viewing inquries, the “bedroom enhancement” inquries, and oh-my-heck… what’s up with all the “mistress” inquries??? I have selected my favorites to share here. Since these folks came here looking for answers, I feel compelled to answer them. That’s me, a giver.
site www.jennyonthespot.com wellness – I am working on that whole “wellness” thing. Sure hope you found something besides my posts that glorify Oreos.
site www.jennyonthespot.com ridiculous – Here.
how to make someone laugh on the spot – Tickle their belly… or toes. Or go here.
thinking literally – I’m a huge fan of thinking literally, when I actually THINK. But had you searched “literally thinking”, then I’m sure you’d not have ended up here. Me + thinking = not so much.
where can you get the shots to get your butt larger – You… Me – not on the same wavelength. I can’t help you with where to find shots for such things, but I have seen these. I hear some folks use these to sit on cold bleachers at high school football games to keep their tushies warm… Golly folks, I am a wellspring information. At your service.
site www.jennyonthespot.com friends – Friends are very important. I highly encourage having some.
site www.jennyonthespot.com skillz – That’s right. You came to the right place. “Skillz” takes time to develop. You used “skills” with a “Z”. You know “skills” with a ‘Z’ is the advanced level of skill. This form of skill is to be used sparingly. It is a compliment of highest regard. Please take care not to taint the inherent awesomeness of The Z.
seabrook washington – Great place. I highly recommend a visit. P.S. Seabrook, I am willing to accept a complimentary stay for pimping you out. I can write more about your wonderful community… for a fee.
easier ask forgiveness than permission – Don’t adopt that philosophy. I advise truth. It just works out better for everyone that way.
jenny humilitation biker – Why do you joy in my humiliation? No answer for you!
skillz just fa my man - Not gonna answer that. You are not clicking on the right search results, are you?
pichers of butts – OK, as much as I would like to say I have no pictures of butts on my site… I do. Fully clothed and prolly not what you’re searching for. However I have no pichers of butts. Sorry. You may leave now.
how to name your road bike – However you want, silly!
pictures or directions on how to make a cake look like a butt – I’m sure I could make a butt cake and post pictures of the steps, but I am too busy blogging. I would suggest a round cake pan (like a soccer ball form) and work from there. Make your frosting flesh-colored, but I feel like I should mention – EW!
does it matter whether your fruits are on the top shelve of a fridge the middle shelve or the bottom drawer? – I’m going to have to call on My Public for this… anyone?
pics of my aunt butt – Aunt Robin, somebody’s callin’ you out!
biker jenny stories – Here’s one.
green snot swimming – I usually swim in water, myself. Yes. Water. I suggest you switch from swimming in green snot to water.
i think i popped a blood vessel in my neck – Uh. Step away from Google and call 911 immediately.
6 months camping – leg shaving – I advise against camping for so long, but if you must… nix the shaving. Here’s why
to make a good friend laugh – That’s a no brainer! You gotta check out Lisa’s post!
cute jenny braces – I know. Go to my Flicker account and get your fill of cute Me in my braces…
i don t know if i can swim an olympic tri – Yes you can! Just practice. You can, you can, you can!!! Don’t believe me? Leave a comment with a valid email address and I can detail further. Seriously.
what do you tell your child if the tooth fairy forgot to come – Find answer here.
my squishy belly – I got nuttin’… ‘cept my own squishy belly. My condolences.
fecal fortune telling – No answer for you! Go away Creepy Creeperson!
marathon trash bag clothes rain – There are a couple of things one can do with trash bags at a rainy marathon. One is: wear it on the run. It keeps you dry-er. I’ve done it. Rip a hole on the bottom of the bag for your head, and a hole on each side for your arms. Two, put your pre and post-race stuff in there and give it to the folks that tends to the racer’s things. It’s best to write your race number on the bag. That’s too easy. Gimme something harder.
do magnetic nose studs hurt to wear – Speaking from experience (circa 1988)… YES. But only if the magnet gets stuck Up. Your. Nose. Just speaking from experience here.
shwannoma eye – I misspelled Schwannoma in my original post, but if you want to know all about my Schwannoma and it’s removal – go here.
kitsap tri turtle triathlon results – You will find them here. I am #57 overall, in case you wanted to know that too.
hairy triathlon pictures – Sorry, can’t help you. You may want to rethink the things you really want to see.
tired of my kids – In all seriousness… it happens. I don’t mean that in a “flip” way. It is normal and to be expected and you are not alone. Next time leave a comment and your email address and we can talk and I can direct you to other moms who also get tired of their kids – good moms that get tired of their kids! We don’t want to admit it, but it’s real, and there is comfort when we know we are not alone.
exciting thing s people have done this summer – Golly… Camping? Vacationing? Rock-climbing? Swimming? I’m sure the list is quite long.
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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…
As usual, I am almost struck speechless by this list. I want to know where I got that shot that made my butt look bigger. Did your Aunt Butt give it to me? And the fecal fortune telling…seriously person- get some professional help. Thanks for this list. Makes me laugh so much.
Oh these are hysterical…don’t you love doing that?
Your lists are great. When I look up searches for my blog they are always boring and too few in number. As usual, you are da bomb.
Fecal fortune telling? Ummm…here’s one….you ate corn yesterday!
Green snot swimming? Fecal fortune telling? There are some scary, scary folk out there. :)
LOL @ Bubba’s Sis. That is exactly what I was going to say. And exciting things you did this summer? Hello? BLOGHER with your best friend. Geez. I’m gonna get a complex or sumpin.
Hysterical Jenny…wicked funny.
Makes one really wonder about folks…other folks of course.
You and I are perfectly normal. Right?
Oh my. You shore do git some doozies!
You do realize, of course, that by condensing all these inquiries into one post AND THEN answering them will just invite further searches to end up here.
In fact, perhaps you can become the place that google dumps people when it can’t make any sense out of their search request…like “humiliating squishy butt shots fecal marathons in seabrook.”
Oh, the fun you will have!
just another day in paradise.. eh?
gp in montana
also a newcomer to humor-blogs