Monthly Archive for September, 2008

Looking for input… who’s got an opinion?

My first question has to do with my Confidence Apron. By the way, she has a name now… I am sure you are not surprised since I border-on-obsessive when it comes to naming my possessions (i.e. Lollipop & Nosie…). Thanks to the help of these friends, my Confidence Apron will now be called “Roxi”! Yeah, together we ROCK the kitchen! 

My question for you is this… Do you remove your apron when you use the restroom? I got to thinking. I know, “thinking” is not my forte’, but… When I cook without an apron, I don’t remove the clothes I am cooking in if I need to *ahem* use the little girl’s room, so why is it I feel compelled to remove my apron? The ties are not long, so there is no danger of an accidental “dip”. Tell me, what do you do… or what do YOU think? Noble Pig? Evil Chef Mom?? Anybody??? Everybody????

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My second inquiry is a bit more complex. I am thinking about teaching a class at my local parks and recreation department on beginning blogging. I am not a super-star blogger… Who am I to do something like this except that - no one else is doing it! I am well-aware of the fact that I am no “pro”… but I know a thing or two. Despite my non-supa-star-blogger status, I am compelled to pursue this. So compelled I picked up a little “class proposal” from the parks & rec department today. *gasp*

I have found that a number of local folks have asked me questions about blogging. Questions that have been in my capacity to answer. I am just feeling a bit unsure since I don’t have the high stats, comment numbers… I haven’t written for another blog or an online magazine ‘r somethin’. I’m just Jenny. However… I have been blogging 4.5 years and have learned a few things. I could know more… but I’d have until next Spring, even next Summer to pull it all together…

So. My question for you is not necessarily whether I SHOULD do it (but if you have an opinion on that, I’m wide open!)… My question is - if you were (or if your currently ARE) just starting or thinking about starting a blog - what would your questions be? What information would have been helpful when you first began blogging? Regrets? Your own tips? I have LOTS of ideas, tons of notes, and a great number of links… but much of my acquired information is based on MY questions and experience. If I do this, I want to give a good foundation to build on, and as much as I pretend that everything is all about me - I know it is not… but it is… I digress.  

So - lay it on me peeps… please? Pretty please? I don’t actually know if this will fly, but I think I really want to give this a shot. Or at least TRY to give it a shot. Who knows if anyone will even sign up. I think I’d rather try and flop than not try at all.

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Folks. My friend Lisa - of The Blozulfog just posted prolly the Best. Post. Ever! Of course it’s about me…Oh, and her, but also ME… So… yeah… But seriously, it’s wicked funny. She’s got mad bloggin’ SkillZ - that’s right - Skills with a “Z”! You gotta check it out. 

Love ya Lisa….MWAH!

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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…

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Published
by
jenny
on September 30, 2008
in 365, Bloggy Bloggy and Go ahead, chime in!
. 18 Comments

Make Me Laugh Monday - Chuck Norris style

I am not a huge Chuck Norris fan, nor am I generally one who is known for her hasty generalizations. BUT were I to hastily generalize, I MIGHT make a statement like the following… When I think of Chuck Norris’ fan base, this image comes to mind:

- A very special Thank You! to PapaTV for his generous permission to use this very special photograph! -

I know. You are probably asking yourself, “What’s up with this whole “Chuck Norris theme, Jen?  Are you going to buy a monster truck, grow a mullet, cut the sleeves off your favorite button-up blouse and start wearing Carhartt???? Are going to be trading your Converse All-Stars for steel-toe boots? Are you trading in your Confidence Apron for a work-belt? Jenny?! Chuck Norris, Chuck Snorris! It’s Make Me Laugh Monday! Chuck ain’t never made ME laugh!”

We’ll just see about that! The other night. No. Not that one - the OTHER night. Yes. I wasted spent some time on Facebook. Yes. Facebook. Shutup.

My favorite thing in Facebook is the flair… witty little sayings on little “buttons”. (BTW… Dear Facebook, I need another flair board. Thank you, Jennyonthespot) I digress… Some flair are plain dumb, others are cute, while others make me laugh so hard I wish I wore Pampers. The Chuck Norris flair… had me shopping online for Pampers, in bulk.

And now, I give to you, the absolute toughness and blind worship of Chuck Norris as found on Facebook flair - in all it’s hilarity. Also, it was late and Lisa at The Blozulfog and I were making fun of none of your business stuff as we Face-chatted and I AM ridiculous:

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have to do anything for a Klondike bar.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allowed to live.

Dinosaurs went extict because of Chucknorrisaurus.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King… and he got one.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in his soul.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that is why there is no life there.

The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.

Chuck Norris knows a word that rhymes with purple.

Chuck Norris makes blood bleed.

Chuck Norris can kill you with a bubble.

…and my personal favorite:

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck were Chuck Norris.

For those who want more Chuck - I found a website chocked-full of little-known Chuck Norris Facts… By the way, would you like to join in on Make Me Laugh Monday? Please do! Either leave a comment so I (and other commenters!) can come by to read your MMLM post or enter your name and URL in Mr. Linky and get your name on the list. C’mon, all the cool kids are doing it! O.K., that’s an exaggeration. But if you do it, the someone else might, the someone else, then WE will BE the cool kids! 

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Published
by
jenny
on September 29, 2008
in 365, General and Make Me Laugh Monday
. 9 Comments

What does one get when ones combines:

One steak + 3 servings of mashed potatoes + 2 glasses of wine + 3 servings of salad + one game of Imaginiff + a brisk evening walk + 2 margaritas with extra “ita”, and 1 chocolate-fondue-awesome-aluza???

One gets a spot in the bean bag chair while one rubs her distended belly and moans: “OH. MAH. BELLEE!!! OH. MAH. ACHIN’ BELLEE!!! That was AWSOME!” Yup. True that.

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Published
by
jenny
on September 28, 2008
in 365, Eats, General and Guilt
. 6 Comments

What do you get when…

5 girlfriends celebrate 1 of those girlfriend’s 40th birthday? You get a whole lotta chocolate, a whole lotta giggling/cackling, and a whole lotta silly… with glasses… 

The Birthday Girl. Betcha couldn’t figure out that one.

Heh. Wine glasses.

NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa! Bat Girl!!!

Her future’s so bright - she’s gotta wear shades!

Hollywood… here I come!

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Published
by
jenny
on September 27, 2008
in 365, Friends, Funny Funnerson and General
. 6 Comments

Dear Deer who is gettin’ all fat offa my flowers,

Stop it! You can have the weeds - all 3 acres of ‘em! I have only a select number of potted plants, and those flowers were not lovingly planted and sprinkled with Miracle Gro for you and your belly. I did all that for me and mine-sesses. The flowers are for beautification of my front porch, not for satiation of your appetite, nor for your gestational purposes.

When I walked out my front door this morning - it looked like horticultural massacre! Look what you did to my pretty flowers!!!

Little Deer… I’m here to tell ya, DON’T MESS WITH MAH FLOWERS!!!

Don’t you get all “Bambi-eyed” on me! I’m not falling for it. No more flowers for breakfast!

Do you hear me??? 

I said… !!! Do. You. HEAR. ME???!!!

Careful my four-legged friends, for if you do not heed my caution - next time I make ground turkey chili (while wearing my Confidence Apron, of course!) - I will make it with VENISON instead.

You have been warned.

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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…

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Published
by
jenny
on September 26, 2008
in 365, Animals, Fa' Real?, General and Weeds-n-Blooms
. 12 Comments

Jenny, across the decades.

I’m sorry. I’m not normally so full of myself. It’s another post bloated with pictures of Me. It’s not my fault though, Bubba’s Sis found this super site called Yearbook Yourself, and what’s a self-obsessed girl to do, but stay up for hours looking at how hawt she looked decade after decade after decade… Talk about a “timeless beauty”!

*Side note: PapaTV… I see a great Fug Mug possibility here…

But back to Me. The first picture I give you is from 1952. Had I been a senior in high school, my senior picture may have looked like this… and the pin I would have worn - would have belonged to that handsome devil next to me… 

1952

   

Back in 1962 Continue reading ‘Jenny, across the decades.’

Published
by
jenny
on September 25, 2008
in 365, Bloggy Bloggy, Delusions of Grandeur, Funny Funnerson, General, Ridiculous and The Hubs
. 12 Comments

You can quote me on this, but link and trackback, cuz I’m all about watching my authority grow on Technorati.

When life hands you lemons, start a blog.

- Jenny On The Spot, September 2008 -

My! GOSH! Am I a flippin’ philosophic genius, or what? Oh, don’t touch me… I don’t wanna burn ya, for I. Am. On. Fire!

I am also a poet and were Ansel Adams alive, he’d prolly compliment my mad photography skillz. He’d probably say something like, “Jenny, ON THE SPOT you are! You have such an eye for composition… shading… I can almost feel the wind blowing from the ocean shore… The juxtaposition of…” And at this point all I would really hear him say is, “Praise Jenny! Praise Jenny! Praise be to the highly artistically evolved Jenny! Oh the highly gifted Jenny! You bring balance to nature and have a great sense of style… You bring the “yin” to the “yang”… The “feng” to the “shui”… The “peanut” to the “butter”…”  

So. Are you ready? Are you ready to see what happens when mad photography skillz and phenomenal poetry unite in perfect harmony? Are you sure you are ready? I mean, the peoples of the world might actually join as one - hand in hand due to this one piece of artistic genius I created… You may want to sit down for this:

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Now that I have reeled you in, may I ask your advice? Do these shells make my the butt of a perfect stranger look big? Or does my this butt of a perfect stranger make these shells look small?

Also, do you think I could pull off the whole “mermaid look” for Halloween?

Just trying to figure out my costume for when I walk downtown nabbin’ the good candy from the merchants before all the little people get it. *Note to the very kind, but obviously clueless candy-hander-outer people: Don’t hand out those little looks-just-like-a-strawberry wrapped candy! No one wants those! My Public wants Kit-Kats, Butterfingers, Reese’s peanut butter cups, Snickers… Give the people what they want!

**A post-publish edit… Candy people: All Adither wants Laffy Taffy and Skittles. I can’t have any until my braces come off - so Angie - you can have mine :)

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And that, My Public, is why one should never eat brownies for breakfast. Children spin and tumble and tear curtains off windows when they have brownies for breakfast… This blogger gal right here, at this URL, she spins too - tales of grandeur! She also tumbles… truth into a web of insanity! Oh, and she might literally tear curtains of her walls, but that’s only because she has a poor sense of balance.

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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…

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Published
by
jenny
on September 24, 2008
in 365, Delusions of Grandeur, General, Jenny Jen-Jen, Mental Pause, Poetry and The Butt Series
. 14 Comments

I am more confident in the kitchen than ever…

now that I have a new Confidence Apron! 

When my husband came home Monday night, one of the first things out of his mouth was, “I have a confession… … … I bought an album.” I said, “Before you go any further, it’s O.K. with me as long as it’s as cool as this… *saunters toward husband from behind the counter and twirls* … My new CONFIDENCE APRON!”

It’s amazing what a Confidence Apron will do for a timid stirrer… (and it’s amazing what Picnik can do for one’s complexion when editing one’s photos…I *heart* Picnik!)

And the finished product… Oh how a girl can rock the stove in the right kind of apron…

Are you wondering what “Confidence Apron” and I made for dinner??? Only the World’s Best Baked Potato Soup! That’s all! Potatoes… milk… bacon… celery… green onions… bacon… garlic… bacon… chicken… topped with cheddar cheese… My husband realized what was on the menu and asked, “Oh. Is that Baked Potato Soup, baby?” With a velvet whisper I baited him, “Yes it is baby…” Even just TALKIN’ ’bout food changes when “Confidence Apron” has my back.

I would like to give a shout-out to my very talented photographer and photo-shoot designer - my lovely 6 year-old daughter Olivia. I was just going to have her take a full-apron shot. But then she said, “Hey Mom, what if I take a picture of you COOOKING!” My. Gosh. My daughter is a flippin’ genius!

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Published
by
jenny
on September 23, 2008
in 365, Eats, General, Olivia, Ridiculous, Skillz and The Hubs
. 22 Comments

Make Me Laugh Monday

 O.K. Though nearly everything I touch becomes funny lookin’… it ain’t easy to find “funny” on demand. I have thought about saving summa mah funny stuff up, but I am not disciplined. No. “Funny” must be shared. It must never be withheld, not from My Public. You can quote me on that. I don’t know why ya would, but… whatever.

This video REALLY made me laugh last week. Jenny from Absolutely Bananas linked to it… on Twitter… or was it Facebook… or… Anywho - SHE’s the one who introduced this bit o’ funny to me. If you are a Facebookian, this is truly funny. If you are not, I have no idea.. If your preschooler is on yer lap, there might be a word or two in here you may not want for her/him to repeat…

*Sidenote: If trying to make someone laugh is not your “thing”, head on over to Absolutely Bananas and check out her Monday Writing Prompt...

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Now. I am going to spread a wee bit of linky love to a blog I have recently discovered… because she found me and she said she thought I was funny, so I visited her blog and I was all, “Uh. Mah. Gah! This girl is like my butt, she cracks me up!” And tonight, I headed over, thinking, “Maybe Debbie at Suburb Sanity will gimme some content…” Lo and behold! She was at it, all filing her important documents in her dryer and discovering that 401Ks are not cleaning products… 

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This picture. My friend and fellow triathlete *smiles* Kathleen of Forging Ahead This is a picture of her horse’s foot…

I’m thinking her sweet horsie, Now Voyager, is a special horse. I mean, how many horses can pee out of it’s foot? Silly horse.

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So, anybody wanna play today? Write a Make Me Laugh Monday post… it can be a picture, a quote, a joke, a link to something funny… Use the button code provided below in your post and put your name and URL to your MMLM post into Mr. Linky below (it’s SO easy!) — that way, we know who’s playing and we can know where to visit Let’s get start of the week with some traffic, ehh? What’dya say?! Ready, set….

To reference this post, just use the code provided here:

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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…

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Published
by
jenny
on September 22, 2008
in 365, Bloggy Bloggy, General and Make Me Laugh Monday
. 4 Comments

It’s been nearly 20 years…

since I turned 16. Around here, we are gearing up for a big celebration of that anniversary at the end of October. And all this planning to celebrate an event that happened 20 years ago has me feeling a bit nostalgic. As I was cleaning the basement today, I came across my old high school year books. I looked through my 1988 and 1989 yearbooks, and read through some of the thoughtful notes my friends wrote to me…

Hey Jenny. Stay cool and rad. Brian F.

O.K. Bri… will do. 

As I am giggling to myself, my 9 year old son wanders over. He wants to know what’s so dern funny. He looks at some of the photos with me. As I flip through the pages, I recognize the insecure girl that was me 20 years ago. I am not much different from that girl today… ‘ceptin’ I’m not as hyper… I’m sorry. That’s not true. Continue reading ‘It’s been nearly 20 years…’

Published
by
jenny
on September 21, 2008
in 365, Fa' Real?, General, Joel, Mutha' Hood and Spawn
. 10 Comments