Jenny On the Spot

So. Yesterday.

I am at the bike shop. Getting Mz. Thang/Butta/Fastlikedawind/Lollipop/Buffy all synced-up. We raised the handle bars and worked on my form. I still need lots of work. Apparently I am tense. Who knew? But that’s not the story.

The story is:

I was all chattin’ with a gal who was getting syced-up with her bike too.

Her nearly 60 year-old-self was all, “So what events are you doing.” 

I was all, “Oh, an Olympic distance tri.”

She was all, “Oh, when I did an Olympic, I….yadda, yadda, yadda…”

And I was all, “You already did one? Awesome! What’s next?”

She was like, “I am thinking about a half.”

I was like, “A half-IRON?” I picked my jaw off the floor.

She, “Mmm-hmmm”

I think I bowed to her. 

We continued and I admitted I was hoping to also “do” a half-iron. As it turned out, we are both looking at the same race in September. Coolness, but I can’t let her beat me.

So. There we were. All endurance-event-talky-talky… We talked about wet suits, and bike performance and stuff that might lead one to believe I was a moderately healthy person… not given to breaking chairs she was sitting in-n-such.

Not so mauch.

I was sitting in the “director’s” chair  with all my wanna-be-athletickness. And the chair  Bri-Zoke under my sheer weight. The fabric pulled right on out and I looked super-cool as I tried not to fall so far that BOTH butt cheeks hit the floor. I. Broke. The. Chair. In. The. Bike. Shop.

My only regret: I didn’t have a camera. I would have taken a picture of the chair they had to throw in the trash. I would have posted the picture here and asked, “Does this chair make my butt look big?” 

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