Hi all! Happy Fourth of July! Be safe. Be sane. Be real. Yo.
The weather looks good here today. Much better than yesterday. In fact, the clouds were so dark, and the rain so strangely heavy, it drove my 6 year-old daughter to inquire, “Mom. Was yesterday the last day of summer?” It’s nice that it appears Summer came back to us… granted, much cooler than other places, but for me - 70 degrees is perfect… perfect.
Enjoy the long weekend!
Oh my gosh, friends! I totally forgot to tell you what happened yesterday. I was at the gym, pumpin’ iron-n-such. I had a brief conversation with a gal who is clearly cooler and more important than me.
Me: Hiya friend!
Ok, so it was more like, “Hey, whut up.”
She: hi
Me: How ya doin?
She: fine
Me: Enjoying the summer???
She: Um. Not really. ***rolls eyes and looks away*** IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII have to work.
Me: I spit my water on her. I hissed. I punched her in the jaw. I grabbed a 50 pound weight and flung it at her “have-to-work” head. Oh, well, you know - with the warmer weather and all… (shrinking back)… Work? Like, oh my gah. What’s that? How do you spell work? Like, how many letters is in werk. You. Are. So. Brave.
Yeah. Because I don’t work at all. After I come home from the gym I make a smoothie and add a pretty drink umbrella… then I wave fig leaves at my man servants who draw the water for my bath. Meanwhile - my 3 nannies (one for each child) feeds them, folds their clothes, gets them ready for swim lessons, and brushes their teeth. While all that is happening, my staff empties the dishwasher, vacuums, dusts - even the floor boards, washes my sheets, and cleans the bathrooms. Then me, my children and their nannies pile into the limo where we are taken to all our activities. I am very active in my children’s lives. Come nightfall - it is my staff-in-waiting that tends to the non-sleepers, empties the poop and pee out of the training potty, clips 30 fingernails and 30 toenails, washes 3 heads, does more laundry, bills, mops dirt, does more laundry, cleans the kitchen, stub their toes on plastic princess shoes, and lays out my clothes… so I can get my beauty rest. Then I pump iron the next morning, and watch the poor peasants who have to Work.
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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…
Doncha just wanna slap people like that? I mean gosh, it’s a lot of work to find good man-servants like that who just come at the wave of a fig leaf. Some people just don’t get it.
What a bitch.
Oh man. That was a very brave thing to say to a SAHM. My husband is the stay at home, and I have a very clear understanding of what he does in a day. But the thought of man servants and nannies… I think you’re on to something there.
:) At what point do the kids realize we work? Clara says all the time she wants to work when she grows up (like her PAPA). Sigh.
Happy Fourth!!!
ooff. I come to work so I can get a break — because being a SAHM is really and truely the hardest job ever. Seriously.