Me: *Scurry, scurry, scurry… Clean, clean, clean…*
Me: *Madly cleaning… scurry, scurry…*
Me, inside voice: “By 11 I want the kitchen “mostly” cleaned, a shower, dry my hair and get 10-20 more minutes of pantry organization done…”
Note: I started organizing my pantry 3 days ago. 3 full days ago.
Lucy (my 3 year old): “Oh! No!”
Me: *looks over*
Rice Krispies float down a river of milk on the table, bench and, now… floor.
My inside voice: “I did not factor that into my cleaning goal!”
Me: *cleans spill, loses at least 3 minutes, if not 5*
Me: *returns to goal-related tasks… wiping counters-n-such*
Lucy: “I meed some yo-guut (yogurt).
Me, knowing if I don’t comply I will sacrifice more time: “OK.” *As if I had spent my whole life training, I launched into nible-ninja mode and backflipped toward the fridge. As I came down my right leg hooked and opened the fridge door… my arm reached in and flipped a container of yo-guut from the shelf… as I spun about (mid-air) the velocity of my wind opened the top of the yo-guut and peeled away the foil-safety-top. I caught the opened container of unspilled yo-guut with my left hand, slid toward the kitchen table like a pro-baseball player, and handed Lucy her yo-guut.*
Lucy: “I meed a ‘poon”.
Me: “GAH!”
Me: *gets spoon, and I look around (Superman stance) because I can’t remember what I was doing before*
Me: “Ah yes!” I begin loading the dishwasher, among other glamourous things.
Table area: “Thud. Gush.”
Me: “Whu?! No!”
Lucy: “I spiwwwed a yo-guut.”
Me, in my head, “Don’t curse, don’t curse, don’t curse…”
The yogurt is onthetableontheflooronthewallontheeverywhere!
Me: *growls* I think I was a tiger or maybe a badger in another life.
Lucy: “I fink I am in twouble.”
Me: *hands her the clue phone* “Ya fink, Lucy”
Me: *finished yogurt cleaning, loses who know how much time towards meeting my 11 o’clock goal, and adds another dish to the dishwasher.”
Lucy: *petting hair*
Lucy: “I fink I have yo-guut in mah hay-er.”
She says “hair” with the cutest Southern accent…
I then wipe the yogurt from her hay-er, and I tell her she’s not in twouble. I throw my hands up in the air - had I a white flag, I’d have waved it too. And then I came upstairs to write this post… And the activity never stopped. Lucy landed on Livi’s stomach, Livi contracted a phantom splinter and needed tweezers, requests for toothpaste and lost toothbrushes were made, a kiss for an owie and… and… maybe I’ll go take a shower. I’m pretty sure Lucy will come in and ask if she can take one too.
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Keep up-to-date on the insane, the insightful, and the whatever…
I am so with you on this. I blogged about something like this this week. I couldn’t believe it was only 8:06 and all hell had already broken loose!
I have no idea how you do it. Honestly. Moms FTW. I’m still apologizing to mine.
amen to that sista! sometimes after seeing all the debris… i mean toys scattered about after a tornado blazes through my family room, my hubs will come home after a “long, hard day” and has the audacity to ask “so what did you do all day”? Nothing dear. I did nothing all day.
When it all becomes too much, I just think of my sister-in-law with four kids. One of which has autism and the youngest two are identical twin girls about to turn two.
yeah, I gotz it easy!
I did like your mad ninja skills for opening yogurt. That was pretty sweet.
Chuck Norris taught me my mad ninja skillz.
Can I just say that was such a joy to read… so action packed! Elastagirl has nuthin on you sista! With or without the shower!
Wow. You just made me realize how easy I have it with my five. When something like that happens around here (and it still does), I just make them clean it up.
But man - thanks for the supermom visuals!
Whew. I think I need a nap now. Or a cigarette & I don’t even smoke. Your superhero skills impressed me beyond belief.