Jenny On the Spot

I love you… So. Much. I love you even though 9 years ago today I experienced he greatest amount of physical pain I will ever experience in my entire life… but that’s a whole other story that I will have to tell you when you are much older… Like when you are 16 and want us to buy you a car and I will tell you about… “all the pain you put me through when you were born… I can’t believe you would ask anything more from your bless-ed mother…” 

BUT, the pain was all worth it, and I’d do it again. In a heartbeat. In half-a-heartbeat.

You have been a precious gift to me from your inception. Yes, we’ve had “hard times”. Like the time when you were 3 and bit a boy on his face. His mom was so mad at me… but I know he provoked you. It wasn’t OK to bite his face, but I totally know how it feels to be pushed to your coping limits:) Refreshingly, you have learned new, more appropriate ways to deal with people who push you too far… like slice them with your light saber. We are still learning to turn from the Dark Side, aren’t we, Son? 

We have made it through your toddler-dom. I sweat so much during those years. You were so curious and active. I would follow and redirect, follow and redirect… I hated visiting homes with stairs. We didn’t have stairs, and you were drawn to stairs like moths are drawn to light. You loved to touch everything and seemed to have the fear of no thing… no man.

We have made it through your “Alpha Preschool-Boy” stage… all the hitting and screaming and fighting to be #1 in a group of preschool hoodlums. Phew. That. Was. Hard. Stuff. For both of us.

We made it through your first day of kindergarten - your broken heart and sad eyes screaming for me not to leave you… yet you pushed through it.

We made it through homeschooling first grade. You were a delight to have as a student. You are such a hard worker. I treasure the memories of the conversations we’d dig into. Conversations we would not have had if you were away at school. You, my son, have a heart of gold.

This year you went to school - all day. It was hard to be away from you for so many hours. Sometimes I felt so out of touch with you… I still wonder if I want you gone all day at school. I like having you around. This year your teacher said you worked hard and endeared your classmates to you. You became a friend to everyone. She said you were an encourager, like the time you told your classmates while in line, “You guys are doing a really good job!”

I am wondering if we might have a writer on our hands. It seems you have a natural skill at writing - sentences, punctuation, capitalization… but most impressively - communicating ideas. Dude, I am all over that. I found you reading your first grade journal last night. You said you liked looking back on your pictures and the things you used to like to write about. You seemed interested in the idea of starting another journal… You wanna start a blog???

The night before the last day of school, I found you crying in your bed. There were twin boys in your class who were going to be moving far away. Your sensitive and compassionate heart was so sad. It was hard to watch your heart break, yet my love for you grew as the depth of your love and compassion showed in your tears.

I am just so impressed by you. You are a complete boy… light sabers, battling, protecting, running like a maniac. MaNiaC! Yet you have the sweetest heart.

Over this last year we’ve been able to narrow down your interests. Video games.

Just kidding… kind of. Also - soccer. You seem to be natural. We’ve not put you in soccer since you were 3, and after a 5 year hiatus, you took to it like a fish to water. It looks like I may end up being a soccer mom after all. You also love swimming. You love being in the water, and this year I asked,  ”If we could sign you up for anything, what would it be?” You said, “Swim lessons. Because I really want to swim!”

You are still the active boy that came into the world 9 years ago. You have never stopped. I am reminded of myself when you get up way-too-early to watch cartoons. You don’t want to miss out on a thing. Friends play a big role in your life - and their influence is growing. I pray for friends who might influence you to be the kind of incredible man I know you can be. 

You are a HUGE help with your sisters. Especially Lucy. She knows you will get her milk for her sippy cup, and she knows you will snuggle her when she needs it. You and Livi fight like cage-fighters at times, but when you play together, you two are a tremendous match. And when it all comes down - you protect your little sisters, adore them and work hard to help take care of them. You really want a baby brother, and I am sorry we just can’t do that for ya, buddy. It would be incredible to watch you be a big brother again, but Mommy would still have to do most of the work :) Someday you’ll understand what I mean.

I pray for you, my boy… my young man. I pray for strength when your convictions are put to the test. I pray that your Dad and I recognize your natural talents and skills so we can encourage you when you feel discouraged. I pray for opportunities to excel and opportunities to love. I pray that your life will be smooth and easy, but pray for God’s protection and grace because I know how life is. I pray for God’s grandest blessings in your life… and I always pray that despite my struggles as a mom (Honey, I know I am nowhere near perfect) - you will always know I love you deeply. I love you like crazy… And thank you, God, for allowing Joel to be my son.

O.K. Buddy. I need to go empty a box of tissue now. 

Love you,

Mom