I have sewn… There was the awful 4-H-green and white dress I made when I was 10ish (for 4-H)… And there was that one stress-filled week before Halloween of ‘02 where I made my 3-year-old son an astronaut suit. Like he cared. He won’t remember my pain, but I do… I do… I spent WAY more hard cold cash making it myself than just buying a way-cooler pre-made astronaut suit. Suffice it to say, the power cord on my very lovely, looks-like-I’m-a-serious-sewer sewing machine has not been plugged into the wall since. I do sew on buttons though *kicking and screaming*. Oh, and Awana patches. Well, last year anyway. My poor kids wore last year’s patches all this year.
ferrets. We had 2 ferrets before we had kids - Sport and Molly. Stinky animals - even though they were de-stinked. Anywho… We would find all sorts of treasures in and behind our couches, or tucked into the darkest recesses of our home. We had this one couch that had storage underneath - we’d find magazines and all sorts of surprises.
I wish I had taken pictures of the back of my van today. For a moment I though I may have given birth to a flockbarrellitter business of ferrets (Of. Stinkin’. Course. The collective noun for ferrets is - business! Not. Kidding…Why would it be anything else?) I found pairs and part-pairs of shoes, wands, fossilized chicken nuggets, scraps of paper, sippy *blech* cups, crayons, crumbs and more crumbs, jackets, shirts, socks, soccer jersey, used straws, markers, fast food toys, hair clips…. a virtual restaurant, preschool, and clothing store on wheels. Golly, one would think my kids leave the car naked with all the clothes I found stuffed here and there…
And that is why I think children are like ferrets.
Oh people. People! Why was my mother’s day happy? Well… for starters - if you have been here before you can see the BEAUTIMOUS changes on this here site. My very talented, creatively inspired, staying-up late to tweak and perfect, loving, adoring and cutie-pie husband… redesigned my site!
When I saw it - I tenderly touched my laptop screen, and squeak-whispered, “I luh her…”
I was trying to figure out what I could post today. I came across a funny joke last night when I was scouring the humor category last night on Alltop.com. Wanna hear it?
O.K. So. While I do believe I have a pretty good sense of humor, I MAY have a wee bit of “stupid” that peppers my outlook on all things funny. So, upon further consideration I decided I needed something MORE for Make Me Laugh Monday. True, this joke made ME laugh, but did it make YOU laugh?
Though the children need breakfast (read: a mother), I couldn’t keep myself from peeking through the list. Good Golly of All Things That Are Funny! There are certainly some parodies I would never post here… There are some I might, but probably shouldn’t… And then there is the one I have chosen for TODAY: Make Me Laugh Monday. It is one of my VERY. Favorites. Evah! EVAH! This one is not AS funny as the original SNL version (cuz the original featured Will Ferrell, and he be a funny, funny man), and sadly the original isn’t available. Regardless - watch this… If ever there were to be a Cookie Dough Sport Drink (I know…) - this would be the commercial…
Can you imagine? Can. You. Imagine?! This brings the issue of calorie replacement to a whole other level…
They love you so much they trust you to clean the poop off their butts, wipe their boogie’s, anti-bacterial-ize their owies, kiss their boo-boos, tie their shoes, comb their hair, brush their teeth, and carry their dead-heavy sleeping bodies a mile uphill in the snow… Your “little people” love you so much they let you cook all the meals, clean all the toilets, fold all the clothes, and vacuum all the fuzzies in the corner. They love you… they need you… they know you will be there. You may not be groomed, but that is one of the few things your “little people” actually NEED :)
So… even especially if that laundry doesn’t get folded (or put away), if you don’t empty the dishwasher - ever, if your new car smells like french fries and sour milk, and you tend to forget to wash the soccer uniform that only gets worn once a week (therefore requiring your son to play in week-old two-games-worth-of sweat). You. Rock.
Mothers/Mommies/Mamas… Kudos! Applause! Take a Bow. It’s O.K. if you’re wearing slippers… even better if you’re wearing a mud-mask on your face or spit-up on your shoulder (or down your bra)…. Take a bow anyway - this is YOUR moment :) Heck - wave *wrist, wrist, elbow, elbow* and blow a few kisses while you’re at it.
We went to the park earlier this week. It was supposed to be in the low 60’s and sunny. That’s a heat wave around here. We dressed for the sun, but I did bring sweaters - just in case - because I am a good Pacific Northwest mom.
Anywho… I was busy swinging higher and better than Olivia (my 6 year old) when Lucy (age 3) went up to another mother across the park and asked, “Can you get me my sweater? I’m cold.”
I saw Lucy talk to the mom (who I later interrogated about her very cool nose piercing). I figured I should see what was up. So I got as much air as possible and did a back flip with a twist off the swing. I spouted “Neener, I’m better than you!” to Olivia. Then I ran off to make sure Lucy’s new mom was able to find that sweater. Kidding.
I dragged my feet and stopped the swing completely - so as not to break my old and fragile back. I told Livi I was proud at her efficient swing-pumping, gave a thumbs up, insisted she didn’t need another Under Dog to get more air, and left to check on Lucy and her new mom. I found out what Lucy needed, retrieved her sweater, and saved my girl from hypothermia. Then I returned to the mom Lucy nearly adopted and asked her all about her cute little nose stud.
This is what Olivia said when her cousin received bed sheets for a gift.
Yes, that is a line from Toy Story. Yes, my children have seen it too many times. And yes, we have LOTS of manner-teaching to do in our home. Oh, and yes, we all laughed hysterically.
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