Jenny On the Spot

Dear Olivia,

That is what I wanted to command you to do on your birthday. I close my eyes. I pray this vision of you on your sixth birthday is seared into the “forever” part of my memory:

You were walking down the Sunday School hallway at church. You and G. were walking shoulder to shoulder. Your pink, sparkly giggles bounced off the walls. Your smiles were as big and as spectacular rainbows. You were giddy… overwhelmed… pleased as punch. You practically hovered above the ground due to the Power of the Awesomeness of Turning 6. You were wearing new birthday gear: a pink headband with girlie-colored polka dots, 2 black-flower-shaped-clips with “diamonds”, both of your new necklaces, a ring, an oversized $5 gold lame’ purse stuffed with your new felt coloring tablet, a swirly 4 color dress, pink flip-flops with sparkles, a missing top-front tooth, AND newly pierced ears. Looking at you would make the Disney corporation green with envy - because, little girl - You. Were. IT. If ever there was “money”, girl, YOU were “money”. I’ll explain later…

I remember looking down… watching you giggle with your friend. I knew I was frantically taking in fleeting precious moments I would never embrace again. I couldn’t breathe in deep enough nor look hard enough to keep your excitement of “Being Six”… frozen in time. As I embraced the flutter of you girls chatting and giggling, you spouted with such ovewhelming spirit,

I. can’t. believe. THAT I’M SIX!!!

Neither. Can. I…

Olivia, you have brought so much joy to our family. You have zeal for life that draws others in. You are supremely creative, and enviably resourceful. You have never veered from the personality you were born with. You are easy going, tough, passionate, and you abound with joy. Your laugh. Oh my goodness. You could knock the world off it’s axis with your hearty, unfettered laugh. Time after countless time, your laugh turns heads and evokes smiles. I have visions of the smiles and laughter of strangers and friends as they watch and listen to YOUR hearty, contagious and adorable laugh. The best… truly one of the best things in my life - your laugh.

Watching you become a young girl is so exciting. It’s scary too. Many of my childhood memories begin at this age. What you are experiencing… I can remember going through that too. Lately, it has been developing friendships. Like me, you are becoming the “middle girl”. Honey, I remember. It’s a hard place to be. This friend wants your attention, that friend wants your attention… you want ALL the attention, but how do you bring these friends together? They want you, and don’t want to share. I find I pray a lot that I have the wisdom to help you navigate female relationships. You’re six and the drama is now in full swing. I want you to know, I will be right by your side the whole way - with chocolate :)

Since turning five, not much has changed. Well, maybe a little - you’ve grown probably 4 inches, and you started kindergarten, one of your best friends moved away… and Poppy passed away. That was really hard, but you seem to understand - his body is whole and healthy now. This was the biggest, hardest part of your year of being 5.

Other than THOSE things… your passion for tumbling and dancing and cheerleading and making picnics and coloring and making projects has continued to drive your creative little self. You still accessorize glamorously, and the fact that you wear a uniform to school doesn’t squelch your expression. We have many of the Olivia books by Ian Falconer… I’m amazed at the parallels.

One of your most used craft items is a hole punch. Your mother is not a HUGE fan of hole punches anymore. I wonder… Will you remember the baggies full of hole punches?… Baggies filled with eentsie paper circles… floor, counter and tables covered in eentsie paper circles. You have even made earrings out of those circles - you threaded them onto safety pins and gave them out as gifts for awhile. Like I said, resourceful.

Little sister and big sister - you play both positions. That is a big job. A little sister to a big brother - this has made you tough. You join in with the boys without a second thought. Your only limit is your height, other than that - you consider yourself one of them. Well, unless you want to play “tea party” instead. We think it is because of your big brother that you taught yourself how to ride a two-wheeler. You were just 5 when you decided “enough was enough” and in one day you went “two-wheel pro”. You believe you can do anything, and you can - ask anyone who has seen you roller blade!

Big sister… to a little sister. You kind-of play “mom”, but you don’t overdo it. You have introduced the world of crafts, creativity, and accessorizing to your sister. This year we moved you out of the room with your brother and into a room with your sister. It has been a hard transition because Lucy talks a lot, and being a big Kindergartener - you need your sleep… Lucy makes it hard on you. However, your bond as sisters trumps your nighttime woes. You two are a joy to my “feel so blessed to have girls” self. You have taught Lucy how to paint her nails, and brush her hair, and have indoctrinated her with the appreciation of all things sparkly, pink, fluffy and soft. It’s overwhelming, in a sparkly sort of way :)

OK girl. It’s hard to pack a year in a letter, but I think this is a good snippet. I pray, pray, pray your newly pierced ears heal perfectly :) I pray for healthy relationships with your girlfriends. I pray for wisdom for me to know when to step in or when to let you work it out. I pray I have the strength to resist the urge to be a friend, and keep being a mom who nurtures and guides and protects… a mom who will make the hard choices now, so we can nurture a healthy mother-daughter friendship as adults. I pray we are able to keep our lines of communication open, and that I will lean on wisdom and not emotion as we navigate a relationship that will certainly be full of strong emotion. I love you Olivia. I am proud of you and can’t get enough of your dynamic zest for life. I pray you are shielded from the things that would seek to steal that away from you…

With big hugs and snuggles and kisses and a movie night with popcorn,

Mommy