I shock myself. What woman - in her right mind - would EVER say something like that? What woman would ever wax-sentimental about not being able to “spend time” with her gynecologist?
That would be Me. In my own defense, I am not in my right mind… especially since the recent (today) onset of my menses. Is that OK to post on the www? Well, believe me, I spared ya’ll the bloody details - heh.
***taptaptap***heloooooooo????***
Oh. It appears only the women-folk are still reading now. My bad.
ANYWHO… I had canceled my “Annual Exam” today. You see, dear ‘ol Aunt Flo came for her monthly visit. She has never shown up for “Gyne Day” before. I didn’t know what to do, so I called my OBGYN’s Bookie and asked. Her Bookie promptly removed my name from the appointment book. From the sound of it, I think she slapped a
radioactive sticker on my file, burned her earpiece and soaked her hands in alcohol. She may have torn her garments as well. (Hey, it’s better than sticking me in a hut outside the city walls for a week.) Once she completed her purification ritual she offered me a new date. IN. MAY. M - stinkin’ - AY.
I gasped. “Aaaaaaaahhh. Maaaaahaaaaay?????” I added, “I called in September to make an appointment. I was told to call in October, when the schedule for January would be available. I. Called. In. September. To. Get. A. January. Appointment.”
She said, “I can get you in with the nurse practitioner in February.”
Oh, that’s cute.
I realized I had to pull out the big guns. This would be my own little Battle of Little Big Horn, and I made it my job to assign roles. I wasn’t gonna be Custer. Am I being too dramatic? Hello? I’m bleeding!
“I get severe cramping on days 12-15 of my cycle. Ya know - when I’m NOT on my period, but it feels like period-pain. AAAAAAAnd I get night sweats. I. Am. Only. 35. Years. Old.” At this point, I may have sounded like I was inhaling helium. I continued, “I want to meet with my doctor. And I don’t want to wait until May. I can’t wait until May. I hurt. I’m sure the nurse practitioner is very nice, but I want to talk to MY doctor.” *Sniff, Pout, Sniff, Sniff, Boo-Hoo, Stomp, Stomp, Stomp*
*click, click, click, clickity, click, click, click* “I can get you in on February 21st”.
So, at 9:15 this morning, as I sipped on a cup of warm coffee, sat comfortably on my couch, and ruefully sighed,
“I would be in stirrups right now…”
…I really wasn’t missing the ever-fashionable and incredibly comfortable tie-in-the-back-gown… nor was I longing for the ambiance of a cold table covered with butcher paper… and let’s not leave out the comfortable fit of a cold speculum… I just wanted to talk to my doctor.
You. Go. Girl!
I’m not sure why but some people just don’t believe us when we tell them that something is wrong!
Enjoy that coffee and congrats on manhandling them into an earlier appointment!
You would think in an OBGYN office, they would be accustomed to menstruation. And good going on the self-advocacy. It’s frustrating when you have to negotiate for a reasonable appointment!
OH Jenny, that’s why I check in here every day, just so I can laugh out loud! Isn’t it funny that there actually was an appointment available before May!
Way to go girl!
Lisa
I have the same trouble getting into my GYN and I’ve been dealing with similar symptoms ever since having my first child. They got worse with each child after that.
The pain in the middle of your cycle? Probably ovulation. Sucks doesn’t it?
Hey! I had MY gyno yesterday. How special! So…will you be concerned that in a month from now….for your next appt, Aunt Flo may be back?
My appt was swell…’cept for the part where she couldn’t find my cervix. I have an extremely tilted uterus. See that’s it… its not that my butt sticks out.. it is just that my uterus is tilted. That’s my new line. yep.