Monthly Archive for January, 2008

Just Say “No!” to Dressing Rooms

I headed to a local running store today… I needed some beverage enhancement, and stumbled upon a “20% off all apparel” sale. Yip!

I moseyed, whilst the Luc-meister moseyed - she spent quite a bit of time perusing the wall of “essersize shooooes”. You may be aware she has a “thing” for shoes. I found a lil’ somtn’ somtn’ and another lil’ somtn’ somtn’ to try on.

If you had been standing outside my dressing room (which you very well might have been - because it’s one of those rooms that is only a room with a partial door right off the “show room floor”), you would have heard this… after I had undressed down to my unmentionables: Continue reading ‘Just Say “No!” to Dressing Rooms’

2 eyes are NOT a “given” in this family.

Olivia (5 years-old) was given a homework assignment: Draw a picture of your family, with details and at least 5 colors.

That sounds straightforward… She has a mom, a dad, a sister, a brother an a self. All digits and limbs are accounted for - in real life… Let’s look at the questions at the bottom of the page, along with her answers:

  1. How many total number of legs do you see? 10 (good…very good…)
  2. Arms? 8 (uh…)
  3. Eyes? 9 (…. speechless)
  4. Noses? 3 (maybe she’s using “absence” as a visual representation of a stuffy nose?)
  5. How many people did you draw? 5

Now, I’m no mathematician, but me thinks the numbers are a wee-bit off. She didn’t give herself a nose, nor me; but I got some wicked-gorgeous pink eyelashes… Actually, it is her father I am most concerned about. Poor fella. He’s the one who really throws the numbers off. He’s the one who looks like a one-eyed, six-week-old fetus, with 2 legs…

My Boogie Shoes

Red Sequined Converse

Back in The November, I wrote about a coveted pair of shoes. When Converse spammed me with a soliciation for these puppies… I was moved to tears.

Imagine. IMAGINE the river that flowed yesterday when the coveted red sequined lovlies graced my concrete porch yesterday afternoon. I squealed with such delight! Delight! Delight! Delight!

Not only are the shoes in that thar picture ON. MY. FEET…. but they are on my feet because of my Lisa (no blog yet, but I’m workin’ on her) and a triplet of dear friends were compelled to BUY THEM FOR ME. For me? Lil’ ‘ol me? I’m not worthy, but I accept. Accept. Accept. Accept. *doing a little jig - in shiny red shoes*

Super of all superness! Golly-gosh-snickerbeat people! After my major award yesterday, and another award that I won’t just yet write about (I found out yesterday, but will write about it when it is announced on the awarding site early next week), and then these… I am exploding here!

I’ll be passed out for awhile. If you really need me, one of my manservants will deliver your message to me on “Cloud 9″…

The Bruise (Reprise)

Remember how I told you about the bruise I got from trying to learn The Windmill?

A 12-hour-old bruise is a whole lot less impressive than a 6-day-old one. See:
On the

Break dancing fallout

I told you it hurt.

*taptaptap*

“Is this thing on?

“Screeeeeeeeeeeeee”

“Oh, hot mic. Hot mic. Oh dear. Wow, well… hi there! I just want to say thank you. Thank you so very mauch! I am delighted to receive this major award fabulous award! Sleeping Mommy… you shouldn’t have, but I accept!

BloggersofTheWorld.jpg

Can I just say, super groovy - in a far out way! I mean, from Sleeping Mommy, really?! I have been your admirer for years! Years! You have made me laugh. You have made me cry. You have reminded me that I am not alone… So thank you, in a non-flattery, but totally serious kind- of way. You rock, and now I do ’cause you welcomed me into the “in” crowd :)

So, in the spirit of this lovely award… I too will send on some linky love and a major award…

Preteens, Toddlers, and Newborns, Oh My!. ‘Cause we’ve known each other since we were, like, barely potty-trained. She gave me her hairbrush cleaning job at the local salon when she moved after 8th grade. We were college roommates. And now, we are going to rizOCK BlogHer together in Frisco this July.

Bittersweet. In her words… “The sweet is never as sweet without the sour.” So true! Aaaand she totally sent me this big ‘ol technical email in response to a widget question, and she is awesome for taking time to do that for a crazy girl she’s never met, and I am so going to make her a virtual plate of brownies!

Rocks in My Dryer. ‘Cause, shhhaaaah…. I so have rocks in my dryer too!

Fussypants. Her tag line… Oh. Mercy… I need a bumper sticker. She says, ” We can’t both look good, it’s me or the house.” I just know we’d get along swimmingly… in my world where everyone loves me. Fussy has no idea who I am. To her I am a virtual stalker who has left a few comments in the great sea of comments she receives. I know, Sleeping Mommy awarded her too… I’m to be on the same list with Fussypants.

Submerged. ‘Cause she’s a blogging newbie, and an dear ‘ol college pal. She and her family (4 kids - and homeschools ‘em) are jumping through hoops in hopes of heading to China as missionaries by the end of this year. She started her blog because she know that 3 to 4 years in a foreign land is a long time, and she’s gonna need some comment love from her peeps when the time comes!

The Sneeze. I’ve only been acquatied with The Sneeze for a week or two, but - he funny. Laughter aplenty people…

There are quite a few more, but to be honest, my 2 year-old is wailing to high-heaven about ANOTHER something I have no idea what she is crying about. I’m not going to proofread either. Apparently she needs her snowsuit on for the one. inch. of. snow. she must battle outside.

So, to all of you who make me laugh, think, cry, confused… here’s to you. Thanks for giving me a reason to become emotional Each. Day. *wipes tear*

P.S. Snow is not my friend.

Can’t Escape the Truth

Lucy (almost 3) said today, “You Yoocy. I Mama.”

I said, “O.K. I’m Lucy and you’re the mama.”

She raises a measuring cup just as a queen raises her scepter while making a proclamation. She authoritatively announced, “Get. Outta. MY. Titchen.”

I am so proud that I fill my home with such love, acceptance and warmth.

Sleeping Mommy… may I please borrow that “1 Bad Mutha” star? I may as well just go ahead and keep it.

Blogged with Flock

I’m not trying to brag,

but I am. I’m like stinkin’ Houdini. Martha Stewart wants to meet me, or at least I think she would want to if she knew about my mad skillz.

Why?

I got Sharpie out of my beloved demin jacket. I did. Permanent marker. Black. Wide tip. Gzone. G to the O N E. Houdini Schmoodini, I bet he never saved a denim jacket from the creative roguery of a 2 year old. I’m sayin’.

I have no before picture, and an after picture without a before picture is like ice water with no ice. It’s just not the same. Besides, I still have to tackle the Sharpie drawrings on my wall, chair, chair cover and chair leg. Golly. Let’s not focus on what has NOT been done, but on the impressive miracle that has occurred before mine own eyes (but not yours because I have no pictures… I digress).

O.K. I give. I’ll tell you how I did it. Continue reading ‘I’m not trying to brag,’

Feed Me!

Feed Me! Get it? Feed me…. Feed me…. Get it???

If you don’t - look over there. To the right… far right. O.K., now scroll down just a pinch… just below the picture of that Stinkin’Beautiful t-shirt… dooooowwwwwn… good.

Now go ahead… subscribe. “Feed Me”, if you will.

On the “Injured List”

On the See that. Right there. No, it’s not a picture of my stretch marks. Well, if you look close enough… Stop that.

It’s a bruise. Now, I had to crop the picture - so as not to transmit a picture of my mama-booty to the united world wide interweb… is that what the kids are calling it these days?

That bruise is located on the forward area of my hip… and the other hip. Yes, both hips. How on earth? Break dancing. Yes… break dancing. More specifically - The Windmill:

To rip-off an exclamatory phrase from my darling gal-pal Emily, “Ohmygollyholycowstarsalmighty!” I couldn’t just stop at “disco” when researching moves last night. Nnnnooooooo. I had to move on to the Grandchild of Disco - break dancing. Again, “Ohmygollyholycowstarsalmighty!” Of course, research isn’t research without field study… right? Hey, to my credit, I didn’t even try to do The Caterpillar… this time.

And 24 hours later - I can’t lay on my left side. Um. I can’t lay on my right side either. I can’t tell if my butt is bruised or if my muscles are just sore. My hunch is it’s both.

Would you be my friend…

if I looked like this?
The Next Top Model Misunderstood I can't smell a thing! Eager