Monthly Archive for November, 2007Page 3 of 3

It is what I do…

I create opportunities for the public to point and laugh — at me.

So… I’m running. I’m feeling good about the tempo… I’m feeling good about my pace. I am closing in on the final half-mile of a 5-mile-run. The wind is blowing through my hair and “Eye of the Tiger” just started playing on my Shuffle…

Dum… dum, dum, dum… dum, dum, dum… dum, dum, dummmmmm. Dum… dum, dum, dum… dum, dum, dum… dum, dum, dmmmmmm. Dum………

I am ready to finish strong. The air is crisp and there is a bee the size of a jaw breaker coming right at my face.

I hop to the left. I hop to the right, but he is so quick. Fly like a butterfly, sting like a bee… Only, I do not move like a seasoned boxer smoothly dodging the advances of his opponent - rather, I hop like a little girl who is trying to do the Mexican hat dance barefoot while the hat is on fire.

trex.jpg

ADDITIONALLY (as if my special dance wasn’t enough), I flail with my hands at armpit level… T. Rex, anyone???

Fire Marshall Bill

FURTHERMORE… my lips were dry, as were my brace-covered teeth…. and the sheer terror of certain death caused my upper lip to stick right above my braces… This physical trait really brought out my resemblance to my distance cousin, Fire Marshall Bill.

Blogged with Flock

I’ll never be cool.

Published
by
jennyonthespot
on November 6, 2007
in General, Humiliation and Swim/Bike/Run
. 2 Comments

i heart guts

First off, I can’t post a picture of a hilarious t-shirt I found through Popgadget… because my iPhoto isn’t working and other pieces of my computer are not functioning as I need them to (for that matter)… and flickr will not associate with either of my choice browsers… so I’m stuck trying to scratch an itch without any fingernails… I’m tryin’ the do “the wave” but I have no arms, just hands attached to my shoulders… I’m beating a dead horse too…

So… if you go HERE, you’ll find THIS - among other fun t-shirts and plush toys and buttons and… I’m partial to the spleen shirt - just ’cause green’s my favoritest color. Uh-huh. It is… And I like THIS ONE TOO, ’cause… well, who doesn’t love a little bit of the sweet stuff? “Gimme some sugar!”

Blogged with Flock

Published
by
jennyonthespot
on November 4, 2007
in General and Jenny Jen-Jen
. 0 Comments

So… Jenny…

Me: Yes?

Imagined interviewer: You’re training for your third half-marathon. How do you feel?

Me: Good. I still have all my toenails.

Imagined interviewer: Now, you do a “long run”each week… this week was 10 miles, next week will be 11… and then culminating on “race day” with 13.1 miles… yes?

Me: Yep. Except my friend and I choose to prefer to swap the word “event” for the word “race”. You know the saying, “Slow and steady wins finishes the race event”…

Imagined interviewer: What’s your secret Jenny?

ME: Huh?

Imagined interviewer: How do you recover after such long runs? What is your strategy for calorie replacement?

Me: That’s a really good question. I’m glad you asked. I burned over 800 calories today, and veggies can never replace that sort of caloric deficit. Never. You have got to use the big guns. I had a triple grande eggnog latte (from a certain Celestial Siren) and a donut. And another donut.

Imagined interviewer: How do you spell that?

Me: C - R - A - C - K

Published
by
jennyonthespot
on November 3, 2007
in General, Jenny Jen-Jen and Swim/Bike/Run
. 1 Comment

The “Z” word…

Zits. There, I said wrote it. It’s an ugly word, whether spoken or written. That simple word can evoke gagging, undo years of therapy, or - in my case - drive a grown woman to the mall to hunt down that new Proactiv vending machine.

I know, it isn’t October anymore and I should let go of my birthday, but… I just turned 35 and I can’t stand the fact that acne commercials with squeaky little pre-teens command my attention. “Quiet kids, your mom wants to hear this!”

When I was a junior and senior in high school, I had quite the bout with acne. It was mostly on my forehead (thanks Aquanet) and upper cheeks. I ended up taking some oral meds and found that Proactiv was the shizzle.

I turned 35 on Saturday and on Sunday I made a mad-dash to the mall to get me summa dat Proactiv… “Hormonal” takes on a whole new meaning when one is double 17.5 years old… it’s a whole different beast…

Oh, and I have bratheths. Oh. My. Gah. Gag me with a thspoon.

Published
by
jennyonthespot
on November 2, 2007
in General and Jenny Jen-Jen
. 4 Comments

Only the best for my baby…

momspit

One of my favorite sites to visit is Popgadget. There is always something fun, unique, edgy-cool or ultra-techie… It was only a matter of time before something like Momspit (”inspired by the original”) hit the market… and of course Popgadget is spreading the word.

The retailer site markets Momspit as a product that “…is gentle enough to use on your face…foams for easy application, eliminates dirt and grime, and leaves skin moisturized and yummy smelling.” It doesn’t sanitize, but  I don’t want sanitizer on my baby’s mouth anyway. I just want to wipe off the soggy graham cracker crumbs, or that sticky stuff from the Halloween sucker, or the chocolate milk mustache, or…

Published
by
jennyonthespot
on November 1, 2007
in General and Mutha' Hood
. 0 Comments