ran 11 miles yesterday. So, the Tooth Fairy was very tired come nightfall. The co-Tooth Fairy was out of town for the night, so the Tooth Fairy could not call for “back-up”. Since it was a First Tooth, the Tooth Fairy could not disappoint the very excited Olivia. Did I mention the Tooth Fairy ran 11 miles - seemingly all uphill - and She was V to the E R Y tired?
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock… Go to sleep children. Sleep deeply… ALL of the children must be asleep or this cruel game of deception will end. You are getting sleepy, verrrrrry sleepy… Maybe I should have spiked their milk with Benadryl…
The Tooth Fairy struggles to keep her eyelids afloat. The delay drives her to eat a container of Ben & Jerry’s Vanilla Heath Bar Crunch. Drats. Only B & J could keep the Tooth Fairy awake. Consequently, what took 1 hour and 47 minutes to burn earlier that morning - took 20 minutes to utterly, shamefully, and indulgently undo.
At last… relief, and a great big sigh of the aforementioned emotion. The children are OUT… so the Tooth Fairy moves in, like a Stealth Bomber only with a 1-Spot to drop. The Tooth Fairy is a very big spender. The Tooth Fairy swaps the bloodstained, tiniest tooth ever, for a crisp dollar bill… She then creeps up the stairs, enters her chamber of sleep, throws her hands up in a V for Victory (she was a cheerleader in her youth, you know), tucks away the First Tooth, strips off her fairy wings, and falls fast, fast asleep.
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