Jenny On the Spot

It is hard to believe that you are one year old, One year ago, I got to see you, hold you, smell you - for the first time. Today, it is hard to remember life without you!

Lucy, you have brought so much joy to our family. I have joyed at your growth, I have joyed at your personality and I have joyed at the ways you have grown me. It's kinda silly, but when we are all in the car together I feel like we (our family) are “just right”. I was surprised when I learned you were on your way, but now I know there was always a hole in our home - just the size of you.

It has been such a treat so watch your big brother and sister love you - care for you. Your big brother is probably your fiercest defender, and his adoration for you flows greater than I could have ever dreamed. He celebrates the loudest at your accomplishments - whether it's taking your first step (just these last couple of weeks!) or making new noises. He smothers you with gentle kisses (gentle enough) and buries his nose in your belly to make you laugh. I pray that this bond and adoration continue mutually throughout your lives and that you have a rich relationship as brother and sister.

Olivia is 3 and does her best to take care of you. She is still learning the delicate balance of tender love and wild obsession. She would carry you and change your clothes all day - if she was allowed. She would push you in her dolly stroller and bundle you in blankets - if Mommy let her! She is your big sister and loves to take care of you. I also pray for a precious love and friendship for the two of you. The relationship between women (particularly sisters) can be especially complicated. I pray for a special covering of understanding as the two of you grow as sisters and friends.

It is clear you adore your brother and sister as much as they do you. Few can make you laugh like they do. When you are with a sitter, your brother and sister help you adapt to not having mom and dad around. Your dad and I believe there few things in life more precious and truly wonderful than when the three of you are tender, loving and giggling together,

Oh how you've grown! You are not as big physically as we thought you'd be - you were 10 pounds and 4.7 ounces at birth, but you've not quite doubled your birth weight. To date, you waver between 19 and 20 pounds. I think we are all surprised at how dainty you have turned out to be!

Things you can do today that you couldn't do a year ago: eat food, crawl, take 2-3 steps, sign things like - bottle, all done, wave hi and bye, say “uh-ah” (working on the “oh” sound in uh-oh), mamamama, dadadada, and giggle, tear toilet paper off the roll, make a mess of the art cart, hum with music, dance-dance and squeeze me tight when we run in from the cold.

In all this wonder, there have been challenges too. It has been difficult growing into a family of five. I am learning how to balance baby, preschooler and kindergartener. I am learning to let go of less important things (like a tidy home), but fighting it too. I have not kept up on your “First Year Calendar” like I had vowed. I have tried hard to focus on quiet times with you - with hopes of remembering those moments. Now I look at pictures of you from only months ago and find myself thinking, “I don't remember her that way.” That is the bitter-sweet side of motherhood. We work so hard to help you grow and be healthy, and when you do we long for the baby who needed us more.

Lucy, I love you beyond any combination of words I could ever write. At times I feel as if my heart could pop because of the deep love I have for you, then multiply that feeling by 3 because there are 3 of you kids! I am so blessed that God has placed you in my life. I pray for your protection and I pray for your success. I pray for all the wonderful things every mother desires for her children. But most of all I pray you know God - as a God of grace and a God of mercy. Lucy - your first name means light and your middle name means God is gracious - already I see the light and grace God has given to our family through you,

Love,
Mommy