I have a number of posts I wrote while my blog was on “sabbatical”. I originally wrote about this particular event on February 10, 2006…
Let me start by saying that when it comes to the local law enforcement - I struggle with respect. So when I get (OK, earn) a ticket, it is like a slap in the face. In uniform, they represent moral and civil authority. Without the uniform I might argue, “Where's your ticket?” My reasons for coming to this conclusion are complex and not something I choose not to expound upon. To shave off the hard edge of controversy here I will add - I know there are truly upstanding officers. I just wish they had stickers on their foreheads to identify them.
Meanwhile… I rely on these people to help me defend my home, protect my family from truly crazy drivers on the road, and to catch bank robbers.
As a mother, I feel I need to hide this feeling of distrust from my children. They need heros to admire. I wonder when the time will come that I need to teach them to be cautious, not all people in authority can be trusted. I do not give any man or woman automatic respect just because they hold a position - local police, the mayor, church leaders, senators, the Pope, and the President all are in the position to think they're “All That”. Power and admiration corrupts, how do I know who deserves to truly be respected??? For now, my children will respect all adults, but always run to Mommy first.
Back to the reason I started this post in the first place - my son. He is my little conscience. I was pulled over the other day - for speeding. In my defense - I was not TRYING to go fast. I just was. It was an off-the-path, but well-traveled road with easy curves and no traffic. I was rockin' at 50 in a 35. I had decided that morning to take the kids to the park. The park I decided to go to had a nice trail. The older two would ride their bikes while I pushed Lucy in the stroller. The day was stunningly clear and brisk - if we hadn't just come off the wettest month in recorded history here, I might not have been so eager to get out and about!
I packed up a bike and a bike and a helmet and a helmet and a stroller and blankets and sunglasses and the camera and lunches and a bottle of formula and a baggie of cheerios. That wiped out a half hour! I decided not to rush - but to enjoy the beautiful weather and a beautiful experience with my beautiful children. So beautiful. Stinkin' beautiful.
Then HE showed up, hiding around a corner like a cat ready to pounce. He did. He pounced on the dirty white Dodge Caravan with three children, two bikes and one (now very bummed) Mommy.
He asked if I was familiar with the road. I said I was sorry and that I was only an occasional visitor - it had been over 18 months since my last visit. I did not see the speed sign (it was up, I checked on my way back from the park), but I had a hunch 50 was above the limit when I found him, lying in wait, He took my registration and license and went back to his car to make this one of the most expensive trips to the park in history. To his credit, he reduced the fine from $132 to $91. It still made me mad. Simply being pulled over would have alerted me to my folly and I would always go 35 on this road. Yeah, it was my own fault, but The Man has a lot of discretion.
When I was first pulled over, Joel cried because he thought I was going to go to jail. I told him I wouldn't be going to jail. Then he cried because he thought we wouldn't have anymore money because of the ticket. I told him that wasn't the case, but that we could have used the money in better ways. I asked him to stop talking about the cop and the situation for awhile.
We made it to the park. I wiped up my tears and unloaded the car. We enjoyed the fresh air, the sun and the picnic.
Later that evening Joel said, “Mom? Can we talk about the cop now?”
Salt, open wound, salt, open wound… “Sure Joel.”
“When Daddy got pulled over, he said he was sorry and he didn't get a ticket.” OK, it might seem we are always having run-ins with the law…
“Well, I said sorry too, but this cop wasn't quite as nice as Daddy's cop.”
“So you got a consequence.”
“Yes I did honey. I made a wrong choice and this cop decided to give me a ticket. When we get in trouble we get consequences. You know how sometimes Mommy and Daddy don't make you have the consequence? I was hoping the officer would let me not have one this time too.”
This was a good lesson for me and Joel in the relationship between consequences and grace. It’s a good reminder of the power I have as the parent and the discretion I am allowed in teaching my children. Just like the officers I view with a cautious eye - I have not perfected this balance between having authority and struggling with my own human weakness - in giving consequences and living perfectly all the while.
Latest Comments
RSS