Jenny On the Spot

What is the prime time to be \”prime\” anyway???

My friend Julie told me about the woman who won the Seattle Danskin Triathlon. She informed me that the winner, Lisa Walker, is a 43 with a 13 year old and a 10 year old. In the Danskin one can sign up as Elite, in an age group, or as recreational. There is also a category for teams. The \”Elites\” are, obviously, the top bananas. Lisa signed up under the \”elite\” category. I can\’t imagine I could ever do that, but I sure would like it!

I recently had a conversation with a 20 year old. I\’m 31. I was verbally pondering the hits and misses of my young life… expressing the dreams I still have. I mentioned I may have to live through my children (teasing of course!). The young lad (smack dab in his bliss of youth, the choices of the world dangling within his young grasp) laughed and said that I probably would. Hmph.

Fast forward to the Olympics. I love swimming. I swam competetively (summer clubs) from age 6 to 18. I did pretty well in my small circle of seasonal swimmers. I wonder if I could have gone further if I had pursued year-round swimming, or went to a college with a swim team. When I watch the swimming events now, my heart flips and flops as I watch the swimmers slice toward their goal. I see Jenny Thompson — who is also 31 — still stroking her way through. I am very aware of the media remarks that she is, well… old. Then there is Gary Hall — he\’s 29. Man, he\’s over the hill too! Sarcasm there…

I want to be in a band. I want to act. I want to dance. I want to swim on the Olympics. I want to play volleyball competetively. I want to be considered flawless and intriguing. I want to be sought after for my knowledge on a certain subject. I want to be an innovative interior decorator. Heck, I just want the scrapbooking magazine I submitted ideas to (years ago) to call me up and say one of my layouts was chosen for it\’s originality. My friends say I\’m artistic, I say I\’m just good at copying…

I hate that I struggle with THIS issue sometimes. I know that what I have chosen to do now, is what I should do. In fact, it\’s what I WANT to do. However, it is difficult to find reward and significance in grinding daily at the plight of motherhood. I know what my goal is, I know what our goal is as a family. It doesn\’t make the struggle for significance outside my front door go away…

Perhaps I am living through my children, to an extent. Perhaps it is better to say that I am living FOR my children… to train and help them to become people who will positively impact their spheres of life… to be strong, to be compassionate, to love the Lord. And I need to face the facts. My munchkins are bold little boxes of energy. They shine so bright. If I ever decide to make my mark, they\’ll be stiff competition!

Back to my point… I am past \”prime\” for somethings — many of the things of this world. It is certainly geared towards youth. My time is much better spent seeking after the more lasting things of life (how many world records have been broken this Olympics anyway?) , and to let go of my youthful yearnings. Proverbs 31:30 says, \”Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.\” I desire this too. In fact, I really do desire this more.

I\’m still going to do the Danskin when I\’m 43 though…:)