Blogger, mother, dreamer, swimmer, biker, runner, coffee-drinking mistress of silliness… all in exciting Kitsap County!
I graduated from high school in 1991. I am truly a victim of late 80\’s and early 90\’s pop. I though I\’d try the 80\’s song test that I found on theMommyfiles Blog. I did just fine, for a late 80\’s gal (a 69.5). I got the \”I didn\’t want my MTV enough\” score. True. I didn\’t have MTV at my house. I only got to watch it a certain friends\’ homes and sometimes after the kids went down when I babysat.
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I visited Froggie\’s Pond and found this little thing. I am not one who is drawn to this type of thing usually, but I am fresh off my little rant about not being in my prime anymore:) Some of the things seem to be contradictory, and others I am embarassed to admit fit me… Where you see the parentheses, that\’s my clever input:)
OCTOBER:
Loves to chat (check). Loves those who loves them (most definitely, especially those who see me as still in my prime!). Loves to takes things at the center (perhaps that\’s too complex for my hormonal mind tonight). Inner and physical beauty (check and check!). Lies but doesn\’t pretend (huh?). Gets angry often (oh yeah - bitterness issues). Treats friends importantly (I do love my friends, but feel I neglect them). Always making friends (my Dad would strongly agree with that). Easily hurt but recovers easily (sure). Daydreamer (future Olympian or rock and roll star???). Opinionated (I try to hide it so people will like me). Does not care of what others think (I wish!). Emotional (nothing truer than this). Decisive (can be, but lately I don\’t want to make decisions, just tell me which way to go!). Strong clairvoyance (I call it discernment). Loves to travel, the arts and literature (I do, not a big reader though). Touchy and easily jealous (that\’s fair). Concerned (I\’ll take it). Loves outdoors (I hate snow in my boots though). Just and fair (probably so, but emotional girl can influence that!). Spendthrift (hmmm, let me get that Target receipt…). Easily influenced (more of a past weakness). Easily loses confidence (oh yeah). Loves children (ehh, not something I would put on an application).
I thought this was pretty interesting, and fairly correct — Definitely on the inner and physical beauty part:) I cracked up when I read the birthday month for my hubby!
We were in Minnesota last week. We went to the Mall of America and took the kids to Camp Snoopy. We were IN the MALL OF AMERICA and I did not set foot into ONE store. OK, one store, but only because Olivia ran into it. It\’s for the best anyway. I would not have been able to fit anything else into our suitcases, and I certainly didn\’ t have the money to buy anything anyway… I just think it is so silly I didn\’t shop in the MALL OF AMERICA, when I was IN it! I may call my doctor to see if my hormone levels are off…
What is the prime time to be \”prime\” anyway???
My friend Julie told me about the woman who won the Seattle Danskin Triathlon. She informed me that the winner, Lisa Walker, is a 43 with a 13 year old and a 10 year old. In the Danskin one can sign up as Elite, in an age group, or as recreational. There is also a category for teams. The \”Elites\” are, obviously, the top bananas. Lisa signed up under the \”elite\” category. I can\’t imagine I could ever do that, but I sure would like it!
I recently had a conversation with a 20 year old. I\’m 31. I was verbally pondering the hits and misses of my young life… expressing the dreams I still have. I mentioned I may have to live through my children (teasing of course!). The young lad (smack dab in his bliss of youth, the choices of the world dangling within his young grasp) laughed and said that I probably would. Hmph.
Fast forward to the Olympics. I love swimming. I swam competetively (summer clubs) from age 6 to 18. I did pretty well in my small circle of seasonal swimmers. I wonder if I could have gone further if I had pursued year-round swimming, or went to a college with a swim team. When I watch the swimming events now, my heart flips and flops as I watch the swimmers slice toward their goal. I see Jenny Thompson — who is also 31 — still stroking her way through. I am very aware of the media remarks that she is, well… old. Then there is Gary Hall — he\’s 29. Man, he\’s over the hill too! Sarcasm there…
I want to be in a band. I want to act. I want to dance. I want to swim on the Olympics. I want to play volleyball competetively. I want to be considered flawless and intriguing. I want to be sought after for my knowledge on a certain subject. I want to be an innovative interior decorator. Heck, I just want the scrapbooking magazine I submitted ideas to (years ago) to call me up and say one of my layouts was chosen for it\’s originality. My friends say I\’m artistic, I say I\’m just good at copying…
I hate that I struggle with THIS issue sometimes. I know that what I have chosen to do now, is what I should do. In fact, it\’s what I WANT to do. However, it is difficult to find reward and significance in grinding daily at the plight of motherhood. I know what my goal is, I know what our goal is as a family. It doesn\’t make the struggle for significance outside my front door go away…
Perhaps I am living through my children, to an extent. Perhaps it is better to say that I am living FOR my children… to train and help them to become people who will positively impact their spheres of life… to be strong, to be compassionate, to love the Lord. And I need to face the facts. My munchkins are bold little boxes of energy. They shine so bright. If I ever decide to make my mark, they\’ll be stiff competition!
Back to my point… I am past \”prime\” for somethings — many of the things of this world. It is certainly geared towards youth. My time is much better spent seeking after the more lasting things of life (how many world records have been broken this Olympics anyway?) , and to let go of my youthful yearnings. Proverbs 31:30 says, \”Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.\” I desire this too. In fact, I really do desire this more.
I\’m still going to do the Danskin when I\’m 43 though…:)
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On July 29th I took the kids to see my favorite local live band, The Retros , and 80\’s cover band. They did an afternoon concert in Bellevue. We went with my sis-in-law, nephew, 2 of my friends and thier 3 kids. It was a warm and beautiful day. The court yard had a water fountain (of sorts) that kept us all cool and kept the kids from running into the traffic! In the picture (taken by The Retros, and located on their site), Joel and Cole seem to be focused on the entertainment, while Olivia has other things on her mind. There were funnier dancing moments, but I thought it was neat that the cousins are all picutred together….
The last night we were in Minnesota we went to dinner with my Dad\’s family. Olivia wandered about singing, \”Love Shack, Baby, Love Shack…\” and finished with, \”We Got the Beat\”. I love 80\’s music. The Retros give me a live taste of this music. When I cook, when I clean I usually play my 80\’s tunes. My kids know this music., and it seems they know it a little too well. My aunt said, \”She\’s singing roller rink music!\” That\’s my influence, and yep, I\’m so hip… Couples skate anyone???
Or as she called herself, \”Pincess Fower Pincess\”. We found her dress about 6 weeks before the wedding. The shoes were bought 2 weeks prior. My daughter, lover of dresses and all things \”princess\” couldn\’t wait to wear both. When the hour arrived, and she was in heaven!
We put on her \”Pincess Fower Pincess\” and shoes, and she was off - showing off! \”Look at me!\” Twirl, twirl, twirl. Bummer - no picture to post!
The hours passed, and the time came to fulfill her duty as flower girl… sprinkle the aisle with purple rose petals. Joel and Livi were to walk together. They stood in their places at the opened double doors. Que the kids. Livi took to huge fistfulls of petals and threw them, while standing at the entrance. Joel walked on, just as he practiced. I whisper/yell, \”Livi, walk and throw — walk and throw!\” She begins to walk and throw. She stops and throws, and then continues a short distance.
It was in evitable. I feel like a sportscaster reporting how the game could have been won… it was all in the throw. It came down to the even spacing, pacing and distributing of the petals. It\’s all fuzzy now, but I know she didn\’t make it all the way down the aisle. Midway, she turned, looked at me and said, \”I meed more fowers!\” At that point she picked up some of the flowers she had thrown, put them in her basket, and started back down the aisle. The recovered petals didn\’t last long. She turnd again and told me again (I was crouched behind the last pew, poking my head out to coax her along), \”I meed more fowers!!!\” By that time, the double doors had been closed and the bride\’s music had begun.
I had a decision to make. It had to be fast. Quick thinking is not my forte, but I had to put that aside… a wedding was in jeopardy! My options: fight with Livi, coaxing her down the aisle — knowing she would not go easily without her flowers to throw; OR grab her, go to our seat and give her her Tootsie Pop. I tried one more time to have her go to her brother, but the missing petals proved too much of a hang-up. I sneaked down to where she was picking up more petals, and scooped her up. I was able to whisk her to our seat with little noise and distraction, um, except for the opening of the Tootsie Pop:)
All in all, she did a terrific job. Kids are literal, and her job was flower throwing. She held up her end of the deal!
It helps that Joel loves to play dress-up. Putting on a tie and shiny shoes was a snap. The tux he wore was the same that the groom wore. I think the slippery and shiny shoes were his favorite.
Perhaps we prepped him a little too much. His pillow had 2 fake rings tied to it - not the real ones. He was a bit upset at first when he realized they weren\’t going to use the rings from his pillow, but it all eventually worked out.
On rehearsal night, it was decided that he would not be part of the recessional. The pastor didn\’t make it clear when he was to come sit, and I didn\’t ask. Of course, during the wedding, we didn\’t know when he would come sit with us. Joel could have sat at any point. He knew a Tootsie Pop was waiting.
From where I sat, I couldn\’t see him very well. He stood in place for probably 45 minutes - stood in place for 45 minutes! I was told he spent much of the time looking at his reflection in his shiny shoes. That\’s my boy! He finally turned, caught my eye and mouthed, \”Can I sit down now?\” Sure thing buddy - and the Tootsie Pop was waiting! I wish I had a picture to post!
I got to do my first triathlon in 2001 and the second in 2003. It has been my hope to make it an annual thing, however, things come up! I knew a number of months ago I would be trading my 2004 experience for my cousin H\’s wedding in Minnesota. As it turns out, with this surprise pregnancy, I would not have been able to do it anyway! I suppose I probably could have (if I kept my heart rate in check), but I have been so ridiculously tired! I have not been able to exercise even once a week, let alone train like I would have wanted to. I will put it on my goals list for next year, and hope for the best!
Saturday the 14th was the day of the wedding, and Sunday, August 15th was the day of the Seattle Danskin Tri. As life would have it, I feel I experienced my own sort of triathlon as pregnant mother of the 5 year old ring bearer and 2 year old flower girl. Somehow, we managed to keep the kids clean from noon to the start of the reception at 6! The kids never threw a tantrum or created a scene! I can\’t say as much for me! At one point it looked like eating food was going to be in the far future, and I needed it NOW. I cried to my Mommy. Ah, the proud moments of life…. As for Joel and Olivia, they did so well that once the ketchup came out for the kids\’ chicken nuggets, I wouldn\’t have minded if they wanted to bathe in it!
I just need to add… H and A (the bride and groom) planned an awesome wedding and reception! At the reseption, they had the best food to eat, but knew the kids wouldn\’t appreciate the cuisine. To our surprise and wonder, the servers brought the kids dishes of fruit instead of salad, and chicken nuggets and fries instead of the adult meal (savory chicken, feta, roasted potatoes….). pretty cool:)
We just returned from our week-long visit with my famiy in Minnesota. I was able to check email once and wrote a little in Word. I hope to get it down here before too long. We had a nice visit, and a busy visit! Joel made a fabulous ring-bearer, and Livi was a spectacular flower girl. Tonight, I am utterly exhausted. I have checked email (but did not answer a lick of it), listened to phone messages (have not returned calls), unpacked, catching a few minutes of the Olympics (I love swimming!) and am jotting this quickly.
Though we had a great time, it is always nice to be home. I\’m excited to write a little about our trip another time…. and brag on my kids:) I can\’t believe how well they did! I have no pictures to post though. The digital camera and my iphoto are not working well together these days, but that\’s another story… It\’s so nice to be home… On MY couch… In my maternity clothes that are too big, but so comfy these days… Under the ceiling fan… Kids in their beds, in their rooms… My hubby working hard in our office/bedroom eventhough he needs to go to bed… It\’s just so relaxing to be in one\’s own space….
On Monday, July 19th I was at the pinnacle of frustration with my expanding waistline. I had mostly recovered from my lenient diet from camping and the 4th of July, but my shorts were all feeling miserably tight around the waist! That afternoon, I did 200 crunches with the vow to continue daily until I solved the problem. On Tuesday, while at Target, I bought a test.
Hmmm… fast forward to 4:45 a.m. Wednesday morning. The pink line pops up pretty quick. \”Stranger!!!\” The first thought that entered my head. \”Oh no!\” Is the second. How did this happen? I know, I know, but. . . huh??? How could a little person be growing in my body and I not know it? No prenatals, a few drinks over the Independence Day weekend AND during my grandma\’s visit. . . oh my goodness. . . How am I going to tell my husband?!
After my workout Wednesday morning, I went to the local bakery and bought 3 yellow smiley-face cookies. One to represent each child. Joel, Olivia and I brought them to my husband in bed on a tray with a white chocolate mocha and a maple bar. I said, \”I bought one cookie for each of our kids.\” He took it as I meant HE was one of the kids. I repeated, with emphasis, and more anxiety — \”I bought one cookie for EACH OF OUR KIDS.\”
My precious husband. . . He looked very confused, dismayed. . . He said, \”Are you saying we\’re pregnant??!\”
I stumbled with my words. I started crying. I was shaking. At times before, we had only talked about the possibility — not the probability! I turned to get the proof.
Upon receipt of the test, he just giggled and smiled a mile wide. It\’s all a blur, but I know he said,\”This is great!\”
Fast forward to today. I found out on August 2nd that I am 10 weeks along. We saw the heartbeat:) Joel knows now, and is super-excited. He talks about getting clothes for the baby, and he has rubbed my feet and my back when I\’ve felt sick. He has come up with some name ideas: Anempo, Likiliki, George, and Macy. We\’re telling him we will keep those in mind (Macy is pretty cute!) He finally understands that he will only get one baby — he can\’t have a new brother AND sister. He recently told me he wants a girl so we can have 2 girls, and 1 boy. Joel said, \”Then I can be the big brother of the whole earth!\”
I have been so tired and pretty naseous. This proves to be a challenge with two feisty preschoolers, and a husband with big work deadlines this summer. Despite the difficulties and total surprise, I feel blessed and fortunate that this has happened — that this CAN happen to me. I know many women struggle with fertility and miscarriage. I realize that I am fortunate for what has been given to us. I don\’t know why I have not met the sorrow of pregnancy struggles face to face. I do not take it for granted. One of my dearest friends found out at her ultrasound, a week before my ultrasound, that her baby stopped developing at 5 weeks. We would have been just weeks apart. It sucks. She calls it a \”mean trick\” because her body is still acting pregnant since she has not miscarried yet. I feel guilty and wonder why I\’ve been spared that heartache. I have a number of very close friends who have heart-wrenching stories of desire for children, miscarriages, and worse. I feel guilty that it was such a surprise — that it was so easy… I know there\’s a reason, and my heart beats with thankfulness.
I am not through the woods yet. I worry a because I didn\’t know for so long. I worry I didn\’t get enough folic acid or other vitamins. What if I worked out a little too hard? Sometimes, I\’m afraid to go to the bathroom. The best I can do now is work on those things, and pray that he/she was protected during the time I didn\’t know. . . and will coninue to be.
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