Jenny On the Spot

I called a good friend yesterday. I was seeking out advice from a more \”experienced\” mom, so I stepped outside the preschool-mom circle. Joel has been lying lately, and I am looking for a great way to deal with that natural inclination Truthfully, I\’m looking for a unique, even outstanding way. There are all the \”old stand-bys\” (time-outs, etc…), but both my hubby and I feel we need to really focus and seek out a different method. I wrote in my previous post that Joel lied to his teacher about peeing outside during playtime.

Yesterday, I caught him in a pretty bold lie abou his pb&j sandwich. He brought an empty plate. I asked if he had eaten all his sandwich, crust, everything… checked the TOP of the table. Yup, it was gone. I gave him great kuddos and praised him highly in front of the other moms and kids - I love to go all-out for the good stuff! At naptime, while cleaning, I found the 3-bites-eaten sandwich, below the table.

I called my friend. She had some terrific advice. I had thought about not letting our family go to our small group time, because Joel loves it so much, but she suggested a time-out AT small group instead. Whay have the family pay his consequences as well??? So… while the kids were-a-playin\’, Joel was a-sittin\’. I gave him 6 minutes. That was plenty of time given the atmosphere!

Another idea was using a \”trust cup\” as an example. Here\’s what I did. I got 2 glasses (Joel is particularly fond of the adult glasses), and filled one full with water. We sat at the table and I showed him the full \”trust cup\”. I explained that when he is truthful the \”trust cup\” is full. Then I demonstrated that with each lie, the trust cup grows empty. He did not like that. I demonstrated further that it takes many more truths to fill the \”trust cup\” than lies to empty it. He was pretty frustrated when the \”trust cup\” was emptied. I explained that today the \”trust cup\” is full (starting over) and encouraged him to try to keep it that way. He seemed pretty on-board.

I have a hunch the \”trust cup\” analogy will need to be revisited, but I am pretty excited about our moment this morning. He has an understanding of \”trust\”. He says, \”Just trust me!!\” when we are seeking truthful answers (and he is not being truthful). I believe the cup analogy is not above his understanding. Now, we need to take him to apologize to Mrs. Cindy…