Jenny On the Spot

This was a hard day. My son expressed in tears some of his first relationship hurts. It turns out that at preschool there are a couple of boys who tend to leave him out, or even make fun of him. This morning he chose to wear his prized VeggieTale shirt to school, but on second thought, decided against it. He said his friends would laugh at him and call him a baby.

This evening Joel sat on my lap for over 40 minutes, sharing his heart. The first 10 were tearful and heartbreaking. He expressed that he felt “angry” when others do not let him be on their team. He said he feels “angry” when they insist on certain things and leave him out. Joel even said, “The whole world doesn’t like me!” He said it with deep heartache and sorrow, and tears. I know he was feeling the pressure from mom and dad at the moment too — pressure to clean his room:) This was the breaking point for him. The “whole world” wasn’t giving him a break.

It hurts my heart to see him hurt so much. I long for the wisdom of words that ministers perfectly to his brokenness. For those moments we hugged. We sat face to face - he in my lap. We hugged and rocked and cried together. We went on from there and talked more. We talked a lot — probably the most in-depth and lengthy discussion to date. It was mostly serious. He is still only 4, but tonight I saw a depth of heart I had not noticed until now.

I realized tonight, I let daily life rush by and fail to see the effects of my short-tempered interactions with him. It is important that he be responsible to clean his room, but I feel I missed the big picture. I want to know my children well. I want to discern when there are deeper issues. Tonight wasn’t about disobedience, it was about a 4 year old having the weight of the “whole world” on his shoulders.

A few minutes after our time together, Joel came to me and said, “That was a nice talk, wasn’t it Mom.” More than he will ever know…