Jenny On the Spot

I went to my MOPS meeting today. Our speaker was Linda A. Raquer MA, CCC-SLP. She spoke about listening to our children, and gave information on “red flags” to look for in a child\’s speech development. She is affiliated with the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association.

Neither of my children seem to have speech difficulties. Joel often stumbles for words and will repeatedly say “um” when he feels hurried to get out his words, but Linda said that is normal for a boy his age. She encouraged me to help him slow down — set the tone — so he doesn’t feel hurried. She said not to tell him to slow down, but to model it. She even said that when we read to him, to read slowly. Good food for thought…

I really enjoyed hearing her share because it was a good re-focus for me on the communication we have in our home. She encouraged us to take more time to LISTEN. She gave the example that we sometimes bombard children with questions (how was this, what did you do, what’s your name….) and that can take away from the direction or content of conversation that may have taken place. She also talked about letting the child direct the conversation (let them point to the picture, instead of the adult). I guess I didn’t realize how much I may control our experiences and communication.

She also talked about the fact that our society has become performance focused. We look for toys that educate, we quiz, quiz, quiz. It got me thinking about the daily interaction with my kids and the motivation behind teaching them throughout our day. It seems everyone wants to have the brightest child — Linda said, “We all want the cute little kid reciting the Pledge of Allegiance at 18 months”. I know I am guilty of wanting to impress the sock off others with the astounding knowledge of my toddler. Is that REALLY my goal for my kids? I’m thinking that goal is others-based, and has little to do with the child\’s actual learning. Read on…

Linda said“We want to raise an enthusiastic communicator with an interest in the world who has lots of interesting things to say.” Yeah! Now, that is what I desire for my children! I desire to see an excitement and passion for learning, not a child who knows the answers because that’s what he/she has been told. This is good stuff — life and family changing stuff.

So… how do I start? Like the title — listen and relax! Sometimes I feel so much pressure to work on the alphabet, numbers, colors, etc… However, I should listen more, and not stress if I’m not “teaching” Joel and Olivia enough! If I can spend more time listening and sharing in conversation and experiences with my young ones, all that learning and teaching is taking place! While pulling weeds yesterday, I got to “practice”. Joel and I had such a neat time talking and exploring TOGETHER.

Joel, you are remarkable! You are so full of energy. It has been quite a journey learning how to be the mom of such a little, actually, BIG dynamo! You are always so busy — always looking for the next thing to do. After one activity is through (say an entire day at the park), you ask, “What are we doing next?” We can never plan, do, or experience enough. You are always looking forward. I don’t think you rush the experience you’re in — you fully immerse yourself into anything fun! It’s just that when one thing is done, you’re ready to take on the next challenge.

You just love making people laugh, especially your sister. When she is sad, you bonk your head with the side of your fist, then stick your tongue out of the side of your mouth and flop your head to the side. As you get older, it seems you have tuned into humor as a mood lifter for Mom and Dad. Over the past few months we have noticed this new “thing” about you. You may say a funny phrase in a funny accent, or you may just do a little dance. It has been a blessing to Mom and Dad to see that trait in you. You are learning the value of humor and helping Mommy to “lighten up”!

Here is a funny story that may cause embarassment for a time, but you’ll love telling it someday… One day you were on the potty and you asked about the size of your “peanuts” (this word came out of your understanding of the proper term). You seemed to be concerned about smallness. Then you said, “Oh wait! I know, I need to eat lots of peanuts to make it bigger!”

You are learning about sharing. One day Dad gave you something (I can’t remember what). You asked him why, and he said, “Because I love you.” Man did your face just pop! You loved hearing that! We have noticed a lot of growing for you in this area. For example, you will break off a big piece of your only cookie, give it to Dad and say, “It’s because I love you!”

At four and 1/2 you want so much indepencence, yet you are still very dependent. It is amazing to watch your transformation from toddler to little boy. You are riding your bike (with training wheels), you’d love to be able to ride on a “rocket board” (a.k.a. skate board). You can take on any playset, and you have mastered the McDonald’s Play Place. When you were almost 3, and I was 8 months pregnant with Olivia you got “stuck” at the top of a Play Place. I had to wriggle and twist to get up there and get you down. It’s not that way anymore! You are one of the big boys who helps the little kids now!

You can write your name! I think it was the end of 2003 that you started writing the letters of your name. By Valentine’s Day this year, you wrote your name over 24 times on Valentine cards! You worked so hard. Mommy and Dady were so proud of your effort, and by your smile it was clear you were proud too. Now you write your name all the time and are practicing the rest of the alphabet. You would really like to start the workbook at preschool, but there are a few other letters you need to learn first.

You love your Uncle Mark. He is about 7 years older than you. You often say that he is not your uncle, but your brother. You really want a big brother. I sure understand, I really wanted a big brother or sister too!

This year has brought many new changes for you. I wonder what wonderful things the Lord has planned in the years ahead…